Baby in His Arms Read online

  Needing something to do, he ordered egg drop soup, rice and ginger soda from the Chinese place down the street. Then he sat in the dimly lit room, across from Afton, pondering her as she slept.

  She hadn’t been forthcoming about Kylie. Hadn’t tracked him down and demanded anything from him. In fact, she’d been just as shocked to find him at the hospital as he was her. If she was playing some sort of secret-baby-now-give-me-money game, she was doing it all wrong. Maybe she just hadn’t worked up to it yet...

  Noah scrubbed his hands over his face. She wasn’t Deena G. Not even close, and it wasn’t fair of him to think this way.

  “Noah? You’re still here?”

  Afton rose up on one elbow, her brow furrowed. Probably creeped out to find him sitting there, staring at her. He drummed his fingers on the arm rests of the recliner. There wasn’t a perfect way to word what he wanted to know.

  “When were you going to tell me that Kylie is my daughter?”

  Afton let out a slow breath, then pushed herself into a sitting position and swept the hair back from her face. She didn’t make eye contact, just stared at the damn floor.

  “I wasn’t going to.”

  A huge chill went through his entire body. It was true. His lips went cold, numb. He pressed a hand there as he burst from the chair.

  “So, she is mine?”

  She looked up then, her gaze steady. Unapologetic. “Yes.”

  “Fuck.”

  He didn’t care that it sounded bad. This was a complete shock. A fucking, life-changing, fucking shock. A flash of his life blinked before him. Germany. His Florida time-share. The interest in moving to Boston. All of it. Gone.

  Gone.

  Because he had a kid he didn’t know about.

  He shoved his fingers into his hair. Taking deep breaths, he willed himself to calm down. Let the selfishness ooze out, you bastard. Selfishness it was. He wasn’t going to deny it. When you have your fucking life set up exactly the way you think you want it, and something derails it... how was he supposed to feel?

  He’d put most things on hold because of Deena. Then she went away, and life resumed. Now she was back, and bam! He had a secret baby, too. How the hell was this going to impact the poison web Deena had already woven?

  Doctor has a baby with nurse half his age!

  “Noah.” Afton’s soft voice pulled him back. “This isn’t the time to talk about anything. But you should know that I’m perfectly happy raising her on my own.”

  “You’re giving me an out? I literally just found out she’s mine and you’re throwing an out at me?”

  “Yes. Yes, I am.”

  “Why the hell would you do that?”

  She placed her elbows on her knees and leaned over them. “Because I don’t need the complication and cost of custody court, visitation, all that. Kylie and I are fine...”

  His mouth went hard as he waited for her to finish that sentence. She didn’t.

  “Fine?”

  She shrugged. “We’re fine without you.”

  His heart slammed in his chest.

  A knock on the door pulled him away, but he couldn’t move. The knock came again. Forcing himself to the door, Noah gave a stiff greeting to the delivery man. He paid, took the food and was about to shut the door when a hand curled around the edge, pushing it open.

  Noah stepped back as the door flung open.

  Yeager Henningsen smoothed his tie and walked in.

  Chapter Ten

  “Oh good, Dr. Crisler. Just the man I’m looking for. Stay for a minute, would you?”

  This couldn’t be happening. First the blow out with Noah, and now her father. Afton ran a hand over her hair and tried to push herself off the couch. The scent of egg drop soup made her both nauseous and hungry, and she had to wait for it to pass before she could get up. She wanted both of them gone and give her time to deal with the reality that Noah now knew the truth.

  “You need to leave, dad. Kylie and I are sick. I don’t want you to catch it.”

  “Unnecessary. I’ll be fine.”

  Afton clenched her eyes as her dad flicked on the overhead light. Noah set the food bag down and crossed his arms. His face was set in irritation, warning clear in his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood for nonsense, was obviously stewing about what she’d said. She hadn’t meant to hurt him; she was just being honest.

  “What do you want, dad?”

  Yeager pulled a small manila envelope from beneath his arm and withdrew what looked like photographs. He handed them to Noah, then crossed his hands in front of him.

  “Afton, I never imagined I’d be raising a grandchild alone, without your mother at my side.” His voice broke, catching Afton’s full attention. “I’ve done everything I can to insure you don’t make anymore mistakes that will impact your future, or Kylie’s. Your behavior hasn’t been stellar, and now I find you running around with Dr. Crisler.”

  Noah’s eyes narrowed, his lips set hard.

  “What are you talking about?” Afton leaned over and snatched the pictures he held between three fingers. “Oh my God.”

  There were five images of her and Noah getting into the cab together, of them sitting in O’Malley’s. Of Afton getting into the cab after she’d left Noah at the table. Someone had been taking her picture! The woman she’d run into that night at O’Malleys...

  “You hired a PI to follow me?”

  Yeager shrugged. “A parent does whatever he has to for the safety of his child.”

  Her hands began to tremble, a knot unlike anything she’d felt all day twisting her gut.

  “Leave, dad. Right now. I fucking mean it.”

  “Not until I make one thing very clear.” He looked at Noah, who stood with the tight, primed energy of a soldier with a loaded gun and a clear intent. “You’ll stay away from my daughter. Don’t think I don’t know what you’ve been involved in. You want to pull my daughter and her child into your sordid mess of a life? She’s made enough bad choices. You’re not going to be one of them.”

  Yeager snatched the pictures from Afton and thrust them at Noah. “Keep these as a reminder that I’ll be the one to ruin you if you don’t back off.”

  He left, closing the door with measurable softness behind him. Afton couldn’t breathe. Everything was tight, her chest, her shoulders, her gut. It was as if a bomb had just gone off in the room and she was struggling to hear anything beyond the keening in her own mind.

  Noah.

  “What... what was he talking about?”

  Noah shook his head, anger virtually steaming off him. Yeager’s outburst was an intrusion of the most intimate variety, as if he’d read his most potent fears, and echoed Noah’s concerns down to the letter.

  “He’s right. He’s right, Afton. I can’t have you or Kylie in my life. It would be an epic mistake.”

  She forced herself up onto wobbly legs. Holding onto the armrest for support, she snagged his arm with her other hand.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I’m not the man you think I am, Afton. I’m not him, at all.”

  The sound of a cell phone cut through the room. Noah grabbed it from his pocket, turned his back as he spoke to someone. Sounded like he was getting called into the ER. She was dizzy again, but more from the stress of the past hour than her illness. Legs weak, she sat back down on the couch and covered her face with her hands.

  “Will you be alright if I go? Trauma in the ER.”

  He still wanted to help her. After everything that had just happened.

  “I’ll be fine. Thank you, and you don’t need to come back.”

  Their eyes locked. It was so easy to lose herself there, in those crystal blue pools. As if she could imagine them off to a different place, where the timing was better, and all the cards fell into place. She was giving him an out, again. And the steely set to his mouth said he was going to take it this time.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “We’ll talk m
ore. About Kylie. Okay?”

  She nodded, slinking down into a fetal position after he closed the front door.

  And cried.

  # # #

  Noah slipped into his white lab coat and forcibly shoved everything but the moment out of his mind. The ER was maxed with five trauma victims from a mass shooting in downtown Chicago. Another drug-related incident, a problem that was happening more and more.

  “All incoming ambulances go on bypass to another hospital. Pull every available staff. Get radiology down here.”

  He shouted orders as he raced down the hall to the first trauma room. Two cops stood by the door, neither moving as Noah tried to enter.

  “Guys, come on. Move.” Noah nearly pushed his way between them, but they parted at the last second. He recognized one of them, ROSSI according to the name plate on his tactical vest, from the other day.

  “Sorry, doc.” Rossi gave a nod, thumbs hooked into the bottom strap of his vest. “Hey, he’s the shooter. Keep him alive.”

  Noah didn’t respond. He had enough pissed off energy going through him right now that he didn’t need orders from anyone. Cop or otherwise. He finished, moved on to the next room. Then the next. Four hours later, each victim had been stabilized and moved to the appropriate unit for monitoring. He whisked the surgical cap off his head and ran a hand through his hair.

  “I didn’t know you were back in town.” The female voice was low, tense.

  Noah peeked over his shoulder, spotting Maddie standing next to officer Rossi. Her arms where crossed tightly over her chest. She didn’t look at the man, but hell, was he looking at her with a lot of heat in his eyes.

  “Yeah, six months ago. Sorry I didn’t look you up.”

  “Screw off, Logan.”

  She walked away, leaving Rossi to chuckle and watch after her.

  Pulling out his cell, he shot Afton a text. How are you doing? The whooshing sound his phone made as it sent the message sounded loud, incriminating. As if everyone in the unit would know he was texting her. Seems everyone knew everything about him, anyway.

  How the hell did Yeager Henningsen know about the social media fallout? Yes, anyone who searched Regions online was bound to find a mention of it. The gossip had spread through all the hospitals, most likely. It was the nature of the beast. Deena had given out just enough information that all fingers pointed his way. Afton seemed out of the loop, but it wouldn’t be long before she found out. Not after the way people gossiped around here.

  Yeager had been right. Noah didn’t want to drag Afton into his mess. She had her entire life ahead of her. The possibilities were wide open. He’d wonder why she’d want to be tied to him, but she already was.

  She was the mother of his baby.

  His. Baby.

  The cold, shock-y feeling came back, a manifestation of disbelief and panic.

  “How’s the baby?”

  Noah jolted at the voice, completely unaware that he’d been standing in the middle of the hall holding his tablet as people milled around him. Maddie was beside him, twirling her stethoscope between her hands.

  “Ah, she’s doing well. Afton, too.”

  “Good to hear. Afton’s dad was looking for you earlier.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “I hope it’s okay that I told him you’d gone to drop off her phone.”

  Noah slipped his tablet in his pocket. “Of course. Thanks.”

  Thanks for sending the rabid dog right down my trail. Not that he didn’t deserve it. He did. He’d made his bed, so to speak. No, literally. He’d made his bed after allowing the wrong person to sleep in it repeatedly. Instead of breaking it off, he’d continued a poisonous affair. And here he was, waiting for the fatal blow.

  Why did he have to find out about his daughter now? When things were bad, uncertain, stressful? Maybe... maybe if he’d found out under better circumstances, he’d feel differently.

  He ripped the stethoscope from around his neck and crumpled it in his hand. What a cop-out. He was a cop-out. Fuck, this wasn’t the man he was.

  “You okay, Dr. Crisler?”

  He’d forgotten Maddie was standing there. From the corner of his eye, he spied Officer Rossi hanging out by the nurses’ station. He was trying to be subtle, but the glances he flung their way were anything but.

  Maddie tensed as she noticed, too.

  “Is he making you uncomfortable?” He tipped his head toward the cop.

  Maddie scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Logan? He’s been a pain in my ass since we were kids. It’s nothing.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure.”

  It was late, and the stress of the day began to weigh on him. Noah checked his phone as he left the hospital and grabbed a cab. Then again twice on the drive. Worry started to set in when he arrived home and still hadn’t heard back from Afton.

  He let himself into his dark loft suite, didn’t bother to turn on the light. Shutting the door behind him, he took a step into the entry and stopped. The keys fell from his hand and clanked onto the hardwood floor.

  It was a sharp sound, echoing through an empty cavern of a home. Just like every night, he was alone. The house was empty. Cold. Perpetually waiting for something to change.

  He’d never really cared before, aside from the random blips of loneliness after Caleb had left home. Tonight, the emptiness seemed bigger, massive. Overwhelming.

  Pathetic.

  Reaching for his keys, Noah sent another text.

  Let me know how you’re doing, Afton or I’m coming over to check on you.

  His phone lit up almost immediately in reply.

  We’re both doing fine. Just stay home, ok?

  Four words in that last sentence to trap him here, force-feeding him the solitude and alone time he always thought he wanted.

  Until now.

  Chapter Eleven

  “This is your last chance, Noah. I’m not offering again.”

  Afton paused outside the office door. The female voice inside was punched with irritation. She’d come in early, knowing he didn’t officially start for another hour. Something told her Noah would be here, in his office, probably working off the shock she’d given him two days ago. They’d texted back and forth, mostly him checking in on her to be sure she was feeling better.

  She had been until she decided to face him right now.

  “I’m going to pass, Rashi. But thank you. I mean that.”

  “You’re going to give up a dream job for what? For what, Noah?”

  “I have my reasons.”

  “Oh, let me guess. Your kid.”

  Afton froze. How did she know? Had he told her about Kylie?

  “Kids come first. Something you’ll never understand.”

  “Why do I have a feeling you’re staying for something else?”

  Crap, she shouldn’t be eavesdropping. But, what the hell did he mean by that? He’d seemed less than enthusiastic about learning Kylie was his daughter. Not that she could expect anything else, really. You can’t shock a person and expect them not to self-preserve. She turned, intending to leave. His conversation with Rashida was none of her damn business.

  But a little pull of jealousy kept didn’t allow her to go very far. It sounded like he and Rashida had made plans to go somewhere. Just another part of Noah’s life she had no knowledge of. Like, well, pretty much all of his life. They barely knew each other. How could it ever be possible that they’d raise a child together?

  He didn’t answer, and the silence was heavy.

  “You’re making a huge mistake, Noah Crisler. Don’t come crying to me when the floor falls from under your feet. This was your one out, and you’re not taking it.”

  “Let me guess. You’re going to go after me, too? Let the world know who I am?”

  She laughed coldly. “You asshole. I wanted you as a business partner, a cock in my bed. Someone to keep me company in par-a-dise. It’s clear you don’t need me to ruin your life. You’re doing fine on your o
wn.”

  The clop of high heels pounded the floor, coming her way. Afton wanted to run away from the sound, but that would be foolish. Where was she going to go? It was an open hallway with no where to hide. Instead, she straightened her top and made it look as if she was just approaching Noah’s office. So juvenile but it was embarrassing to be caught listening in.

  Rashida spun out of the office, stopping short when she spied Afton.

  “Oh, this is perfect. Well, little girl, I hope you’re worth it.” She tossed her hair and continued her catty walk until she rounded the hallway, out of sight.

  There was a pause in which she only heard the pound of her pulse.

  “Come in, Afton. Close the door.”

  She jerked to the sound of her name. How had he known she was out here? She slid inside, closed the door. And completely forgot what she’d come here to say. Noah sat back in his chair, hands folded over his tight abdomen and legs splayed wide. He was looking off into the distance, lost in thought. Scruff covered his jaw, his hair tousled as if he’d given no thought to rolling out of bed and coming in. There needed to be some distance between them, or she’d crawl into his inviting lap and make herself very comfortable.

  She went to the opposite side of his desk. “I thought we could talk?”

  “Yeah, we need to.”

  Her cheeks warmed. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to overhear your conversation.”

  Noah shifted in his seat and gave a nonchalant shrug. “It’s ok.”

  He was being short with her. Not that she could blame him.

  “Ok, I’ll cut to the chase. Kylie. She’s all I have. My dad is nuts, my mom has passed. I have no siblings. No relatives here. It’s just her and I. Obviously, when I got pregnant, I didn’t know how or where to find you. I figured, I’m in this alone. And then when I did find you... I worried you’d try to take her from me.”

  He looked away from the window, catching her eyes.

  “We used protection. I never thought I’d have to worry about getting you pregnant.”

  “Well, nothing we can do about that now. The question is, what do we do about the future?”

  His mouth set into a line. “You want to know if I’m going to take care of you and the baby. Is that it?”